"The hillbillies are alive with the sound of music."

"Nuclear-powered robot car."

"Well on your way to mediocrity!"

"Critical System Error: I forget how to do that."

"Didn't, wouldn't, won't. Don't call me a thief."

"It's nice that you think you're a pimp, but when you're finished playing pretend, I'll be over here doing grown-up things, okay?"

"Do ya wanna Tijuana?"

"The way to a man's heart is between the sixth and seventh ribs, next to the sternum."

"My sister sprained her ankle playing Jenga."

"Great minds think alike, but so do tiny ones."

"I left my air guitar at home."

"Rocket shark. With tusks."

"I knew you were clever. You told me so."

"By your order, sir, I have no time to comply with your other order."

Barbarian of Information Technology

"Day and night are only places."

"Never test for hazardous waste with your tongue."

"Ski the volcano!"

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Why don't you explain all the quotes?
A: I prefer not to, because I consider them a form of poetry. Part of the fun is deciphering them for yourself. If I'm ruining your life with weirdness, leave a comment and I can try to explain my thought processes leading up to that quote.

Q: Why don't you post every day?
A: I'm not clever every day.

-- Got a question not answered here? Leave a comment and I'll get around to it. --

"Our company is complicated. We have an org chart that can only be properly drawn in five-dimensional space."

"You can't make toast in a microwave."

"Do not use fire if there is a lift."

"BARELY LEGAL VOTERS!!! CLICK NOW FOR HOT DEMOCRATIC PROCESS ACTION!!!"

"Fanta Claus"

"Party like it's 2099!"

"I am conqueror of my pants!"

"Chocolate biscuits are a privilege, not a right."

"Don't you wish your boyfriend was hot like me?"

"Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back. As a zombie."

"I know not this 'Ex-mas' of which you speak."

"Pedestrian Giveaway!"

"Caution: Do not operate power tools while naked."

"This seat reserved for the young and foolish"

"One Man Bland"

"Coca-Cola brand champagne"

"It's true - I read it on the Internet."

"Bullets full of medicine"

"So long, and thanks for all the riffs"