"It's a self-solving problem."

"We am your nightmares."

"Yeehaw! Let's run this horse into the ground!"

"Security that relies on the basic decency of human beings will fail."

"If you have unusual tastes, you never have to share."

"An excellent chocolate delivery medium."

"If I were you, I'd be afraid of me."

"Chocolate is not a sin."

"Magic isn't real. We make the technology that looks like magic."

"I'm so geek I dream in binary."

"Jesus knows what you did last Summer."

"Foolish leproid! Trix are intended for the juvenile offspring of bipedal primates!"

"Deadly sweet"

"Gaunt, dead things on Paris catwalks."

"Brazillionaire"

"Offensive is the new funny."

"Using cancer to cure paralysis."

"Micro-pocalypse."

"Poet in a box."

"Those who resist the internet are doomed to failure."

"You can't ban human nature."

"When complimenting a woman's boots, be sure to articulate clearly."

"Jesus reads lips."

"Nude fire twirling can be hazardous to your health."

"Spring Break at Zombie Beach."

"Defy the rut of personalised conformity."

"The winds of change will blow, but we have very small sails."

"I watched you lose at the Olympics."

"A subtlety that confuses the literal-minded."

"You are welcome to refuse the assignment, but there is a penalty of death for doing so."

"A Girl Called Truth."

"The children of orphans."

"Zen cheesecake."
It's like regular cheesecake, but without the base. Or the filling.

"You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do."

"I dreamed I was a monster and I never woke up."

"Physical space is irrelevant when your mind roams free."

"My greatest competitor is myself. That is the only comparison that means anything."

"Wire mesh Viking helmet."

"Bonsai planets."

"Panicking by proxy"

"One person with 20 years experience is better than 20 people with one year each."

"Echoes of infinity."

"Dress like a ninja day!"

"Suspicious Fires Inc."

"Waking the neighbours. At 8pm."

"Quantum luck."

"Fibre-optic chicken."

"Born holding a Give Way sign."

"Q: Who is a zombie's favourite Thunderbird? A: Brains."

"Slugknot."

"What good is technology if it doesn't serve its human masters?"

"Matter is a thin veil over reality."

"Growgramming"

"It's a slowlution."

"Volume is no substitute for quality."

"Giraffes on stilts."

"Pressure from above only serves to keep you down. Pressure from the sides can squeeze you skyward."

"There's no reason not to panic."

"Abstract practicality."

"My mind is my second-most valuable asset."

"Misplaced Soldier"

"Irrelephant - a pachyderm of no consequence."

"I was emo before there was emo."

"If you ever do something really bad, do something smaller too and admit to that."

"I didn't say it would be easy. In fact, I specifically remember saying it would be tough."

"The curators of public opinion are made obsolete by the Internet."

"If God is so cruel, how come there's so much good in the world?"

"Good work, lowly minion. Have a biscuit."

"As a budding magician, try to perform in pubs. Drunk people are easier to impress."

"I couldn't reach the heavy box just overhead, so I got on my rollerblades."

Putting the "fun" in "fungus"!

"My Aibo scared my Roomba."

"It's frustrating to live in the future."

"Budgies in Space"

"Artificial vitamin C-flat."

"If you can't say anything nice, try to say it first."

"Zombie Travolta"

"I've got some other planets at home."

"Does Emirates Airlines security-screen all Caucasians?"

"The Ninjas Who Don't Do Anything."

"Ninjas of Penzance."

"Retro is very now"

"A hive mind of lab mice."

"/me casts a quizzical look at the world, then retires again to his cave."

"Post-contemporary."

"At the bottom of the compost heap of life."

"Joan of Arc got swallowed by a dragon-whale."

"Television is a prison for your mind."

"The ghosts of 1000 departed sauces."

"Million dollar granny flat"

"Snakes on a Terrorist"

"Emergency parachute pants."

"Zombies on a Plane"

"Surf the heat wave!"

"Old wolves with new woollen jackets"

"amiafreakofnatureornot.com"

"Dart calm"

"The goats of the ancestors."

"An economy built on impulse shopping"

"No F in Fun"

"I have a cold. I demand your magic drugs called 'antibiotics' to fix it."

"Hey! That cyclops winked at me!"

"Proactive Man: Affecting the future TODAY!"

"Who? Yorrick? Yeah, I might have known him."

"Those who do not see the failings of the rules are doomed to be caught in their vast grinding gears."

"I've got no time for the intolerant."

"You're supposed to say stuff, then I say stuff back. That's how the 'saying stuff' game works."

"Teach Yourself Spanglish!"

"Crocodactyl"

"I'd go crazy if it wasn't for my pet murloc."

"Make cheese, not war."

"Do you think she's prettier than me?"
"If I commit hara-kiri now, do I still have to answer?"

"Brown is the new turquoise."

"System Error: You don't actually want to do that."